


When It All Becomes Too Much [NARRY]

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Eating Disorders, I LOVE NARRY, Love, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Niall has a eating disorder, Romance, mainly niall and harry, maybe some lilo but not mentioned, niall stops eating, some narry in the end, sucky ending but good story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:52:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2751788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the hate becomes to much, Niall does the only thing he can think to do: He stops eating.</p><p>Currently working on a second part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When It All Becomes Too Much [NARRY]

**Author's Note:**

> Niall has a eating disorder.
> 
> I apologize in advance for the TERRIBLE ending. I need to rewrite the ending but I haven't gotten around to it yet.  
> Also, the title is terrible but I don't really know what else to name it right now.
> 
> When I rewrite this, the ending will be much longer and more descriptive but for now, enjoy.

Depression always comes out of nowhere. You could be having a blast and then all of a sudden, your mood drops. Its like someone has just dropped some big terrible piece information on you and you suddenly realize, you don't remember why you were laughing.

You're hold mood and perspective on life changes to a big glob of nothing but sadness and hate. You find yourself feeling worthless and unwanted and friendless. You also feel that if you so much as mention your problems, people will think you're trying to Gan attention. So you keep quiet and keep all the pain hidden.

That's what Niall did and he's finally done.

So as days go by, he stops eating. As weeks go by, he starts to lose color in his face. As months go by, he starts to lose significant weight. And by the end of the year, Niall Horan is completely done with life. He's reached his breaking point.

*

Of course it all starts out with a few rude comments from fans. The occasional hate and threats. The stupid stalkers. The people who don't give a damn about him. They all send him the usually day-to-day things. He's used to it by now so he ignores the rude mentions and looks at the positive ones. They usually always make him smile.

But lately some things have been off. The sweet happy mentions don't make him smile as much and the hate comments start to stick out more.

He starts to take in the hate and begins to point out his own flaws. The way his hair isn't styled correctly or how he smiles a little to much. He notices the way one where he is mentioned about playing the guitar. He sees himself miss a cord once and thinks he's ruined the whole song. But none of those were the worst. The one that hit him the most was when they mentioned his weight. He weighted to much. He should work out with Liam and Harry more.

So he takes it all in, remembering it and as he goes on throughout the days, he slowly starts to lower his appetite. He waits until he's down to a apple a day before finally starting to feel confident again. But it seems even that doesn't satisfy him.

*

About 5 weeks pass and Niall has lost over 30 pounds. He eats nothing but a small green apple a day. He carries plenty of water and he seriously wonders why the guys haven't caught on yet.

"Do they not see the way I look when I see food? Do they not see the hunger clear in my eyes?" The questions haunt him but there's one that particularly frightens him.

"Do they even care?"

So he feels the urge to cut down even more. He completely rids himself from food.

A all water diet is what he thinks will suit him the best.

And he's back to carrying nothing but water around. Bathroom breaks are very often and close to each other. He also starts to notice that all of his clothes don't fit quiet the same. They all hang lose and freely but yet through it all, Niall continues to feel more proud of himself everyday. He's accomplishing his goal.

*

A few months have gone by and just now, fans are starting to notice something is off with the young Irish lad. They start to hint that his smile is never there and that his eyes lack their normal gorgeous sky blue and his face is extremely pale, more so than usual.

The guys start to pay more attention to Niall and watch how he stumbles across the stage instead of dancing like he normally does. He doesn't move much but when he does, you can almost see the faint glimmer of slight confusion and dizziness make its way into his face. It's like he's in a slight daze and can't find the light to guide him out. He even seems to be in it as he stumbles backstage, hurting to the restroom.

As they watch him for the few days, they notice how he goes to the bathroom more often and how he only carries water bottles with him. Not once do they see the once happy blonde boy go for food, they watch him turn away in disgust and mutter incoherent words about how terrible the food was.

It was then that Harry started to become concerned.

*

The boys decided to put Harry in watch of Niall. It made no sense to him because he and Niall have never been close friends. He agreed though because he felt worried about the blonde bloke and just wanted him to get better. Harry spent most days sleeping in the guest room, occasionally wondering out when he heard Niall's door open.

He watched him for about a month and just started to see things. Niall wasn't eating. He'd leave his room only to grab waters and he'd never come to join Harry for supper. The blonde boy seemed to be losing unhealthy amounts of weight. His clothes hung from his body instead of fitting nicely against his torso. His pants seemed to drag and he'd always be pulling them up.

He kept all of it written down in a small notebook and when he finally knew enough, he was back to freely be in his own home.

*

The feelings didn't appear for a while. Harry never felt them either.

But yet as they were at a concert, it seemed as Niall's body had had enough.

He was in the middle of grabbing his guitar when all of a sudden he fell. Harry felt his heart drop in his chest as he watched his broken band mate struggle to move. And before he knew it, he leaped over to Niall, crying softly.

"Niall? Babe? Can you hear me? Love, if you can hear me, everything is going to be okay. I promise."

Just as he finished saying those words, a stretcher came in along with paramedics. He gently lifted Niall up to the gurney and placed him down. He leaned down and softly pressed a kiss to Niall's forehead.

"I'll be waiting for you. You're gong to be okay."

The paramedics carried him away.

*

It has been a long 2 weeks since Niall was taken in. Harry rushed to the hospital after they had taken him away.

The room was starting to seem dull along with the rest of the world. Harry couldn't cope like this. He needed Niall to be there for him. He needed to save Niall but yet he knew it was to late for that.

So he stayed in the hospital, waiting it out.

The days seemed to get longer and the restless nights of sleep got worse. Harry finally started to play the things he saw over and over again in his head.

He scolded himself for not noticing earlier.

He'd be lucky if Niall survived this.

He starved himself for months and I didn't even notice. How could i have not noticed? What a terrible friend I am.

*

About a month later Harry receives a call.

"Mr. Styles, we are calling to inform you that Niall Horan is awake. He's okay now."

The happiness in the doctors voice made Harry's day better. Niall was okay and I was finally going to get to tell him how I feel.

He hurried to the hospital. The thoughts came to his mind again. He'd finally be able to tell Niall that he's been having strange thoughts about him and he thinks he's starting to like him.

*

"Hello Mr. Styles." The doctor greeted Harry as he walked into the waiting room.

"Where's Niall? Is he still awake?" Harry tried to walk towards the door.

"Yes, Mr. Horan is awake but we need to inform you; he has a very serious case of depression. Did you know he's been starving himself?" The doctor gave him a serious look.

Harry swallowed and nodded slowly. "I did know."

"And you didn't think to try and persuade him to eat?"

"No, I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

"Well he's hurt more than his feelings, he's cased serious damage to his heart and stomach muscles. It'll take him a while before he can eat properly and he'll be lucky if he can keep the food down."

Harry's eyes watered and he nodded. "I know. But I'm willing to help him get better."

"Good. You may go see him. Room 104."

Harry pushed past the doctor and dashed for the door.

"Niall?" he called as he pushed the door open a little more.

"Harry?"

"Niall!" He scrambled into the room and over to Niall. He cupped his cheeks and looked him deeply in the eyes. "I thought you had died." His eyes weld up with tears. "I thought I had lost you."

Niall looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Harry shook his head. "Just, I guess as I watched you starve yourself and after, I somehow feel for you..?"

Niall shook his head. "No. Don't pull this bull shit on me Harry. You're saying this because you don't want me to try and kill myself again. Well news flash, I won't stop. I'm a waste of space on this goddamned earth and nothing you say or do can make me change my mind."

"You're not a waste of space. All of us are put onto this earth for a reason. You have to live your life until you've lived it all out. You aren't a waste and you don't need to be so hard on yourself. What ever it was that made you feek this way, it'll stop. I can make it stop. I can help you get better. I promise I'll help you. I want to help you." His eyes drifted down, "I need to help you."

"Fine." He looked around before letting his eyes land on Harry. He's always had this small crush on Harry. He'd never actually admit it but Harry made his heart race for unknown reasons and he liked it. "Promise you won't give up on me?"

"Promise."

Harry leaned down and placed a loving kiss on Niall's forhead.


End file.
